Monday, March 21, 2011

How To Overcome Jealousy


1. Identify the cause of your jealousy. Resist the temptation to blame your feelings on others. Experts agree that in most cases, jealousy is a result of your own insecurity rather than the actions of others. Jealousy is justified in some cases, but not most.

2. Bolster your self-confidence. As stated above, most jealousy is a result of personal insecurity rather than the actions of others. If you have a hard time building self-confidence you could get tips from self-help Web sites.

3. Examine the past and then leave it there. Look at the negative impact jealousy has had on your life in the past. Determine that you will not allow jealousy to continue to damage your relationships.

4. Build a network of supportive family and friends who will help improve your self-confidence, rather than fostering your insecurity. You may even wish to establish a "code word" with your significant other, known only to the two of you, which indicates that you could use support.

5. Put your plan into action. Learn to recognize jealous feelings when they arise. Analyze the feelings as soon as possible (you may wish to bounce ideas off others) and determine if they are justified or the result of your own insecurity.

6. Set boundaries for each other. Make your partner aware of any actions that can cause you to become jealous. That way, when one of you breaks the rules, there is reason to be upset. Arguments can then be based on reality and not imagination.

7. Ask a trusted confidant for his opinion of the situation. Ask your friend to observe your interaction with your partner. A neutral party might help you understand the ways in which your jealousy affects you and your partner.

8. Talk calmly and openly to your partner about the behaviors that make you feel jealous and insecure. Avoid making accusations. Express yourself clearly and blamelessly, and give your partner the chance to respond. Work to develop an open, trusting relationship.

By: ehow.com

How To Be Happy Single


1. Don't think about destructive thoughts. What is the use of drowning over if someone has a boyfriend or girlfriend? It will only make you feel bad. Look on the bright side, it gives you more opportunity to flirt with anyone you want.

2. Go out to parties and bars and have a fun time. You can either go by yourself (you don't have to worry about tagging someone along) or with a group (have girls/guys night out or night on the town with friends).

3. Just be patient but open. You should wait for the person that will make you feel great but don't say no to every person that walks up and says hi to you.Have the courage to say yes to a date or two even if you barely met, or at least ask/give a phone number.

4. You should always have a positive attitude at parties and never look angry. You should smile if you catch a person's eye and maybe walk up to them and say hello.

5. Focus on your freedom. You don't have to check in with anyone before going to the gym or planning a girl's night out. Whatever you feel like doing you are able to, without having to coordinate your schedule around somebody else's life.

6. Realize that a lot of the happiness that comes from being in a relationships is available through strong friendships as well. For love and support look to a close friend. If you don't have a lot of friends try joining an activity that you are interested in chances are you will find someone you have a lot in common with.

7. Make a rule for yourself that you will meet new people when you go out. Maybe you will try and make three friends every time you are in a social situation. This will help you to appear more open.

8. Work on making yourself happy by doing things that you believe to be admirable. By doing things that you admire in other people you will learn to respect yourself.

9. Make friends with other single people. It can be hard to be single and happy if all your friends are married. It may make you feel like you're a third wheel hanging out with couples, so get out there and join all those other independent singles having fun doing other activities.

10. Spent time in God's presence. He is our refuge, our strong tower, our best friend. If you have Him, you will know that you have everything.

By: ehow.com

3 Tips That Will Help Prevent Fight With Your Spouse

The problem today is that we have too many conflicts in our society, many of them are inside our own the family. This is one of the main reasons why 50% of all marriages in the US end in divorce. This is how my first marriage ended.

I want to share with you the 3 most effective ways to avoid escalating conflicts with your spouse:



1. We have 2 ears and only 1 mouth for a reason. Really listen to your spouse and try to understand his or her perspective. Every story has 3 different main angles: His, hers and what really happened. You already know your side, by really listening, and giving up the need to be right you can get the whole picture and find better solutions.

Recently I had a really bad day at work. When I came back home, my spouse was waiting for me with an angry face. She complained that I’m messy and never put things where they belong. I was ready to explode on her. Can’t she understand that I had an awful day and all I need is some rest? Doesn’t she care about me?

Just before I lost it, I reminded myself that she had no clue how bad was my day, and I had no clue about hers. So my response to her was: “how are you? How was your day?” It turned out that her day was pretty creepy as well. But after a short conversation, we had a good evening together.

2. Speak your heart. When you talk to the other side try to avoid using the words: "you" and "think", instead deliver a message that includes lots of "I" and "feel".

One of the biggest mistakes I used to make was to get defensive. When she said that she felt like I don’t give her enough attention I would say: “That’s so not true.” It took me many fights to learn that even if I don’t agree with her, that’s how she feels. Once I learned that, I started to share how I feel. Now that I speak my heart, and can listen to hers, we communicate through our hearts.

3. Remember that you both want your relationship to work and to be happy. And you both sometimes make mistakes and get hurt. You just have different ways to try to achieve the good and avoid the bad.

When I learned that, I stopped blaming her. Here is one of my favorite quotes from my first book "One Legged Seagull - A Warrior's Journey to Inner Peace" : “We all want the same things in life: happiness, success, love, peace, health, satisfaction, self-expression, respect and so on. What differentiates us is that we each have varying ideas on what’s the most effective way to achieve these things. Therefore, each one of us chooses the viewpoint that seems most appropriate to him, or the one he has been told is best suited to this purpose. That's why we handle matters in such different ways.”

By: Joey Avniel

Saturday, March 19, 2011

How To Get Your Ex Back


1. If you've ever wondered how to get back with my ex, just count yourself among millions of people, especially right after a break up. Sometimes time away from an ex will really expose that you were better left apart to find a person who is really good for you. And other times that time apart really signals that you really want to get your ex girlfriend or boyfriend back.

2. Really examine why you broke up. This may be hard but really think about all the things that lead up to the break up. Maybe you were growing apart; perhaps there was a serious breach of trust. Or maybe there were ongoing issues that couldn't be easily resolved. Determine what led up to the break up. And really take inventory of them all. This will help you decide if you really WANT them back when they do come around. You may determine that "I don't really want to get back with my ex".

3. Get lost. That's right get lost. Your ex is most likely expecting for you to call particularly if you were the one who was dumped. But cease all contact:text, phone calls, email, letters, pony express. DO NOT CONTACT YOUR EX. If you've already made pleas and other measurable steps to contact disengage. That also means to refrain from talking to your ex's friends, relatives, etc.

4. It is definitely true that when breakups are relatively knew, every ex will find some reason to call.

5. If its been several months your Ex WILL CALL YOU-particularly if you've "been missing" in Step 2. And when they do, don't pressure. Be extremely nice. Don't talk about what happened. You want them back. Everything that they expect or that you've done in the past don't do or say.

6. If ex asks to meet, agree.

7. Dress in your hottest attire, but don't be sleezy or suggestive.

8. Behave in a calm normal manner. Don't beg, don't make pleas. Let your ex do the talking. At this time they will be noticing a marked difference in you. They will want to talk.

9. Proceed with caution, there are reasons you broke up (remember step 1) be gaurded and examine if you really want your ex back.

By: ehow.com

Friday, March 11, 2011

What Qualities Every Man Want In A Woman

Charm

Charm is what draws men to those women who are not as good-looking as the others in their black book. Charm is what pulls men back to women even after they burn them. Charm is the one thing that lets women get away with anything.

A good body

Men may not admit this to women, but when they are walking down the street with their partners, they want to show their women off. Show off what? The crazy curves and full figure of the woman. And that is the honest truth.

A beautiful face

This one will stand the test of time. While this should not be the top characterstic, it is helpful to admit that men must find a woman who will please their eyes.

Honesty & trust

Men want someone they can confide in. The most successful relationships are built upon trust, candour and honesty; anything else is equivalent to building a house on quicksand. So men, be honest with your woman if you want her to be honest with you.

Sense of humour

This will forever remain a priority for any man. Men need a woman who will put a smile on their faces when things are gloomy.


Intelligence & confidence

Previous generations probably preferred a smart woman - not just book smart, but also street smart. But truth be told - many men did not want an overly smart woman, after all, it would be too hard to tame and control her. So, intelligence is needed, but in small quantities.

Ambition & drive

If a partner is what a man seeks, then he will have to find a woman who will challenge him and stir him emotionally. So, a perfect woman is one who is not afraid to pursue her dreams and goals in life.

By:love-lectures.com

Obsessed Lovers

Over Indulgence

This is the most common indication generally perceived in your early dating period. If your lover shows no respect to your requests of observing your time and place limitations, it is due to his wrongly perceived sense of right over you. However hard you might try, but your lover won’t get rid of his habits. They might cease for a day or two, but then he returns to his old habits. It is time for you to be alert and keep a check on him.

Personal Space Problems

Love birds calling and texting each other frequently all day long is quite usual. But when he starts trying to keep up with you despite of your pleadings that you can’t devote time to him then and need a break, you need to be careful. His presence all day long leaves you smothered and longing for personal space. Moreover your failure to answer his calls or mails infuriates him and leaves him in a blazing rage. If all these things have place in your daily life, you need to be very careful.

Spying

An obsessive lover frequently tries spying your relations with others. He gets them cross-checked by means like mutual friends and other sources. He questions rigorously your daily schedule and wants a detailed account of time spent by you. Sometimes, he even tailgates you without your knowledge and keeps a track of all your activities. If all these are common in your life, then it is high time that you end this relationship and move on to a better future.

Domination over Social Life

In a relationship with a possessed partner, your social life is shadowed by his constant interference. He instructs you as to whom to talk and whom to ignore. He will want that you stop talking to all other friends of the opposite gender and even to certain other friends. Refusal to do so ensures hot arguments and exchange of taunts and accusing behavior. You are never supposed to tolerate all this mess and the advice is to terminate this relationship.

Break-Up

Now that you have resolved to break up with your obsessed lover, don’t be in a hurry to convey this to him. He will go crazy and will end up doing something dangerous. He might even hurt himself and create problems for you. He will keep on harassing you afterwards with emotional blackmailing. So first you need to get appropriate counseling for him and arrange for things to rollback in a mild manner. Take this part of action seriously.

By: love-lectures.com